emotionally needy employee
Use examples to demonstrate when you have experienced their behavior as burdensome, and encourage them to find heathier ways to get their needs met. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what a manager does to help break the distractions of a needy employee – it’s just not a good fit. You’re not helping your team members grow if you’re constantly available. “I take the perspective of asking, Why is this person so needy? It’s also important to think about ways to incorporate positive feedback into your regular... Offer support. Frankly, this person might not be up to the job. Diagnose. And, as a matter of course, these regular meetings could be done for all employees – not just for Needy Nick. Oftentimes, superstar employees are given new jobs or additional work. Then, one more stop into your office later in the day just to get your buy-in before moving forward. However, you’re not required to provide endless emotional support for people who struggle to meet their own needs. The tricky part, however, is figuring out how to appropriately manage these people without getting in the way of their career development. But it does nothing for the person who needs face-to-face time – for whatever reason. “You’re not expected to be a psychologist, but you should try to diagnose what’s going on.” Perhaps this person “worked for a micromanager in the past, and she’s in the habit of double- and triple-checking with you.” The cause might also be “insecurity” or lack of confidence; “some people have a fear of what could go wrong,” Hill explains. If this happens after your own conversation, there are a few ways you can handle it. For example, for those who are very needy or insecure and constantly want your guidance, resist offering solutions. It’s crucial that you nip this collusion in the bud, and that you never participate in or condone it. Make sure the match is beneficial to both. This might mean turning to friends outside the workplace, or even a mental health professional who can help them talk through their emotions in a safe space. Failing to cater to that person can damage morale among your entire team—who are often left to deal with their colleague’s unsolved problems or requests. But source of John’s neediness was different. Three characteristics of managers who make the most out of their most valuable asset are: availability, consistency and candidness. After onboarding, continue to have regular check-ins with your employees. Over-sensitive people, by contrast, focus their attention on relationships that provide affirmation. It was important that Anna made clear that alienating Tim or talking behind his back was unacceptable. So, as you can imagine, there may be times when they need reassurance to get them on the right path. “He was constantly knocking on my door, and it was frustrating,” says Kelly. Harvard Business Publishing is an affiliate of Harvard Business School. You can, however, have a talk to discuss the behavior – without alluding to the reason. “Figure out if there are small adjustments you can make” to resolve the neediness. Over-sensitive people, by contrast, focus their attention on relationships that provide affirmation. There is an important distinction between the two. As a result, Tim, one of her most talented designers, was comfortable admitting his insecurities to his team. His peers started to walk on eggshells around him, feeling both annoyed by his silent treatment, and guilty for making him feel bad. Promised time helps keep him focused and moving toward that next check-in. She was a solid worker but had a lot of questions for Vip. “Say, ‘You should have the autonomy you deserve. They often attempt to assert emotional control over others in order to engineer responses from them. For instance, I once had a 23-year-old (rather new) employee request to head up a 10-person sales account management team at my company. Be sure to provide training if needed and assign tasks with clear boundaries, but give the employee freedom to be creative in how they complete the assignment. Emotionally over-sensitive people tend to be hyper-vigilant about how others tolerate their attention-seeking behavior.

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